10 tips to boost your confidence

This week we are showing you tips and tricks to make you feel more confident in your personal life and workplace.

1. Speak slowly

In our minds, we always think we are speaking slower than what we actually are (this is especially true with presentations). In reality it can be so quick that people might not catch what you have said. Research has proven that those who take the time to speak slowly and clearly feel more self-confidence and appear more self-confident to others. So if you have a public speaking engagement in the near future, record yourself and be aware of how you are speaking and practice slowing down.

2. Change a small habit

We are not talking about a big one, like quitting smoking. Just a small one, like waking up 20 minutes earlier or start to drink a glass of water when you wake up. Try something small that you know you can do. Do it for 30 days so that it becomes a positive new habit in your life.

3. Eye contact

A trick to help you appear more confident is to make more eye contact with someone when you are talking with them. You will be surprised how many people don’t do this. If you find it difficult, look at their eyes for a few seconds then look at their nose (without going cross-eyed). To the person you are talking to it still looks like you are still making eye contact. Try it with a friend to see if it works.

4. Having support if things get too much

You might think this tip doesn’t make sense. You can boost your confidence if you know you have support around you. You don't have to do it all by yourself and no one expects you to. Knowing that you have people who are there for you, improves your confidence with decision-making and how you feel when things get tough. West Cumbria Carers are here to support you. For many of our carers, knowing they can call us if they are experiencing a difficult time is a reassurance.

5. Read books on self-development

Reading helps you learn from people who have succeeded before you. There are thousands of books with titles such as; ‘How to win friends and influence people’, ‘Who moved my cheese?’ and ‘Think and grow rich’. It can be hard to know if the book will actually help you. But if you want to grow in self-confidence, you need to read books that develop your mind. As you develop your mind, your self-confidence will improve because confidence starts from within.

6. Change your scenery

Human beings crave routine but we also need activities that push us, change how we think and create variety in our days. Doing something new or being somewhere you have never been breaks your routine, the negative patterns in your mind as well as changing your perspective of yourself. So even small changes can increase confidence. 

Visit a tourist attraction on your doorstep you have never been to (there must be at least one). Attend that fitness class in your village hall you always drive past. Agree to go to that knitting class your friend has asked you to go to.

7. Say no

This is easier said than done. Do you struggle to say no when you want to? If you always say yes you’ll find that people will give you more and more to do and you won’t be able to attend to what you need to. The key to saying no is to understand a few key points.

• You will never please everybody
• It is normal and healthy to say no
• Be clear with your no and if you need to explain why provide a simple and direct reason.

8. Push yourself out of your comfort zone

Volunteer for a project that will help you build new skills. Apply for a job that feels like a stretch but matches your interests. Sign up to present or speak at an event and tackle your fear of public speaking head-on.

When you step out of your comfort zone it can feel scary but over a period of time of pushing yourself, you will be surprised at what you have achieved.

9. Change how you describe yourself

Without realising we all have stories about ourselves, which we internalise until they become our reality. For example you might call yourself someone who is always late after a couple of occasions of being late. Now you have accepted that as your reality, you are always late for meetings, and always feel in a rush getting anywhere. What if you started saying, ‘I am a person who is always on time’. Only use positive language when you describe yourself to others and your inner voice about your time keeping. It all might sound a bit ‘woo-woo’ but the thoughts you have do impact on your actions. Change the story you tell yourself.

10. Power Pose

Stand with your hands on your hips like Wonder Woman or Superman for two minutes. The results from research show a power pose like this affect our emotions and have an impact on our lives. The pose creates a feeling of power and people who use them before stressful events such as interviews or public speaking tend to perform better.